About Thanksgiving I am considering it for the children. They deserve a drama free holiday with family. Also I know at the moment that I am not in control of my emotional states anymore.
Normally the dynamic of what she calls fighting. Is she sits and tells me how it is my fault and I just listen. Really don't contribute much to the conversation. Apologize for what I agree our my fault and try to be understanding about the rest. Honestly this mess has improved my listening and validation skills immensely.
Thing is what she says actually hurts a great deal. So I try to withdraw from the conversation and then it gets worse. My book comes today so can't wait to read it and start practicing it.
I know I need to put me first but kind of in a bind. My family doesn't live anywhere near us and my friends moved out of the city about 6 months ago. Plus I am not comfortable with her brother raising my children while she is doing god knows what. So I go home to be a parent. If she is home that night I will leave when they go to bed. Drive 40 miles out to a truck stop and sleep for the night. Drive 40 miles home in the morning and then get the kids ready for school.
So on Thanksgiving it is a catch 22 from the way I look at it. If I don't do it then it won't be done at all. Children don't have a Thanksgiving with the family. If I do make it then I am showing my children it is okay if people treat you that way.
My 7 year old is already telling me she can't wait to meet her new daddy since she hates me. Guess that is what I get for making her clean her room lol.
