The Summer of Love, Treasure and a Popup Tent.

[AndrewP]

Hi LouR! Fabulous news on the job front. It is indeed true that good things happen to good people.

My opinion is different than devvo's but that's part of what makes this place good for us. You of course need to decide what is best for YOU.

From what I read it looks like you are trying to pick up the rope that keeps you attached to your H. Your S20 gave you an opening and you grabbed the rope back up and gave it a tug. You H answered and from the tone of his letter as I read it - it was probably something difficult and delicate for him to write. Based on that you sound like you are wanting to grab on to him even harder.

Your own feelings may be a different interpretation of these events but I encourage you to examine them closely.

Our children are adults. In fact all of the players in our little dramas are all adults. People who can and should bear full responsibility for all of their actions. It was appropriate to communicate with S23's father about the wedding because that was something that involved that group of adults. You, S23, his father and grandparents.

For me, my S23 will very likely be spending Christmas morning with me - he lives here but I have no idea what he's doing with his mother. Because he and she are both adults and I have no say in their business and no particular need to know beyond how many plates to set for Christmas dinner. D25 will be celebrating American Thanksgiving in a couple of days. Her mother might be attending, possibly with her guy in tow (I really doubt it). Again - nothing to do with me. I've not asked.

It's tough to change the expected dynamic of two parents working as a team to raise our kids to look at it from the single parent perspective. Just like it's tough for us to let go of people who have abandoned us.

Please give some hard thought to what is it that is best for LouR? Just like all of us, you have a dream of reconciliation even if in my case I have left that dream behind. Until or unless you fully let go though, you will continue to be bound by the past. If that is still a dream you wish to have, then dealing with that with full awareness despite the fact that your son's father may not share that dream is your own choice.

((((LouR))))

This stuff is tough.