Was there a time in your marriage you felt connected to your W?

It sounds like you're angry with her...and rightly so, I get it...I'm angry at my H too. But I'm thinking you should take a step back. When she gets unreasonable...and for definite asking you to cook for her family then expect you to make yourself scarce is pretty up there on the unreasonable scale...say in one sentence, don't be ridiculous and then leave it. That sort of disrespect doesn't warrant your time or effort.

It doesn't mean you're a doormat because you will have stood up for yourself calmly and firmly, and then get on with YOUR plans. The more she see's she can't get a rise out of you the more she'll notice.

Is there a reason you're paying your BIL bills? Is he appreciative? Or are you getting the same level of disrespect from him too?

Me 50 H 48
S 23 S 21 D 19
Together 31 years
Married 25 years
Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010
Separated September 2017