WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

How are things going, Jim?

Hey Sandi. Had actually been hoping on your take on a couple of things I posted above in response to your earlier responses. I know you are busy and in demand around here (and that you have a well-deserved private life as well), but if you get a second to scroll back through the last couple of my pages, always appreciated...

Nothing much new since I posted that. W is in a bit of a lull in terms of Reconciliation Energy right now. She's somewhat receptive when I bring things up (I mention reading in book MC recommended or doing the self exploration exercise we've been working on and she says "yeah I need to do that" or picks it up for a few minutes; or I mention that I know her work schedule is hell but that we should schedule another MC session since it's been three weeks and she says "how about 11/29"; but she hasn't seemed real eager or taken the initiative like she was doing in the week immediately following our last session (which was 10/25).

We're still going out socially on a weekly basis, which still seems to go pretty well, and she had actually proposed going out with another married couple this past weekend to see a band but that fell through when the band cancelled.

Demeanor wise she has been up and down the past week or so. I know the holidays have in recent years been a very "blue" period for her... likely because of our own sitch and how isolated she has felt, but also because they had, I think, come to be kind of "routine" and rote with our family. Last Thanksgiving and Christmas in particular, we didn't go to see family and none came to see us, and the boys were off a lot with their friends and it just didn't seem very special. She's talked about this in the past and told me fairly recently that holidays and special days often make her feel blue. I've seen this with her in church, as well, especially since the A. Don't know if she feels guilty in there or what, but it is not a comforting and uplifting place for her right now... she's stopped taking communion for one, and always seems kind of tense. This past weekend in particular she was out of sorts. We went out Friday night and later met up with some of her "girls" from work-- younger girls mostly single who she supervises but who really like her and look up to her (they consider her a "super-MILF", lol)-- but after that she kind of, idunno, "let herself go". Kind of moped around the house in yoga pants and a t-shirt the rest of the weekend. She's also seemed somewhat less "warm" (less responsive to touch, less likely to seek me out by phone/text or in person) though by no means "cold"-- just a bit of a pull-back by her. She's also still down about her body image-- says she's put on about 10 pounds since Spring, though I can't really tell and think she looks GREAT.

OTOH, she has been talking about a future in terms that include both of us in both the short to mid term(holidays, health plan) as well as long-term (retirement). She's also shown fairly strong interest (maybe even a little jealous-seeming) in the interactions between me and one of the lady bartenders where I hang out and with whom I am friendly. Younger girl, very pretty, but almost certainly too young for me (late 20s), but W seems to think she is interested and that she gives W the cold shoulder. (And FWIW my W, though she herself would not think so, is the more attractive woman.)

In terms of her actions, she is to all appearances "behaving" herself. I have spot checked her a couple of times and she did do a drive by of a couple of OM's hangouts a few days back that were out of her way from where she was actually going, but that is all. No evidence that she is contacting him in any way. FWIW we are pretty much right on the one-year anniversary of what would mark the beginning of her EA with the OM.

For me, I would like to be doing more GAL-type stuff, but colder weather takes me out of my element a bit (I am a very avid outdoor person) and I also am hesitant to "leave her to her own devices" or go off on my own for too long a period of time, though I have gone out a couple of times with friends to watch games or what not. Also, I suffered a shoulder injury a couple of weeks back which has drastically curtailed my fitness regimen for the time being and probably for the next few weeks. This is actually a little bit of a scary position for me to be in because the "old me" (the one who was chronically ill) was often injured, hurt, or in pain, and the sight of me hanging around the house with an icepack strapped on has got to remind her of that.

I'd like to start trying to do some "new" things with her-- She loves to dance and I had wanted to take a class; also wanted to take her shooting (nice combination, right? lol)since that was something she has mentioned to me a couple of times that she would like to try-- but timing and her demeanor just hasn't seemed right. Also haven't had any good looking openings to advance the physical touch angle, and the "kino" type of progression doesn't seem to be getting anywhere with her.

So... Kind of stuck in limbo? Probably missed some stuff and it would be helpful, I think, to review my last few posts dating back to your last posting here, but that's the broad brush right now.

In the immediate future, we have a trip planned to see my Dad and Step Mom and Step Brothers and their families for Thanksgiving. This should be good in that we will have lots of family around, but at the same time I know some of that part of my family's behaviors and personalties grate on her nerves (and, admittedly, on mine) from time to time. Christmas (actually day after and through new years) will involve a fairly long drive to the Midwest where we will visit my mom and sister, stopping en route to visit her family for a few days.

Any thoughts you have would be, as always, greatly appreciated. Really don't want to backslide here, in terms of our relationship, and don't want to see us slip back into our old patterns of just being roommates with no physical attraction.