In her opinions she seems to think the reason she has been reaching out; and some of the words she has been using those times were b/c she still cares; and even though is stuck in the mindset of with this OM, that she still wants to work us out.
I really think your IC is wrong on this. You've got a full-blown WAW on your hands actively participating in an affair. ANY reaching out on her part is nothing more than temperature checking and/ or cake-eating. You are Plan B all the way and if you reach out to her as your IC is suggesting then she will be content that you're still in reserve and will go cold on you again.
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It was her opinion that it was the R best interest for me to reach out to explain I do still care, and we would only recon if we were to talk.
Not necessary, despite all the DB'ing you have done your W KNOWS you still care, and she KNOWS all she has to do is reach out 5% and you'll sprint the other 95% to her. Your recon does NOT depend on you reaching out to W to talk, for Heaven's sake there are hundreds if not thousands of examples of LBS's doing that right here on the forums and to my knowledge it has never worked, not once.
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To talk first, date, and work with MC to fix what was broken. Find the things which upset us and work through those things.
Absolutely right, but your W has to take the first step, not you. And she may never take it, you just don't know what will happen unfortunately.
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She also said we are both at this bridge which is broken, but neither of us want to rebuild it...or are to stubborn too.
Again I think your W looks over the bridge and sees you standing there with tools in hand. She knows all she has to do is pick up a hammer and you'll fly into action furiously rebuilding that bridge. BUT SHE HAS TO PICK UP THE HAMMER.
Originally Posted By: chris19
I am looking for some success stories which I can read up on.
Look up dday101798 . Here's a link to the recon post that happened 6 months after D:
