Solo

[eyesopened]

Fuzzy,
I think that both you and your husband will have lots of fun with the book; and when he experiences the techniques in there, he'll probably want to get the book she wrote for men, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. Love and intimacy combined with good skills are unbeatable in creating desire (as I wrote above, most of the time I feel little or no actual physical sexual desire when we first get started, but 99% of the time it kicks right in after a few minutes of kissing, hugging, and foreplay, even if that foreplay is me playing with him).

I've been married for over 20 years now, and I think the difference between ML (making love) and HS (having sex) is more emotional than anything else.

In my post above, I referred to ML after using some of the hand techniques, but it probably would have been more accurate to have used the word "intercourse". The foreplay itself, whether it ends in intercourse or not, is actually ML. I feel very connected to my husband emotionally and I've noticed that I feel very relaxed afterwards even if I'm strictly "doing" him (for example, when I have my period). Now, I'm finding that foot rubs (sometimes he's tired after work and will happily lie on the couch while I rub his feet, which I've learned is also an opportunity to practice the hand moves in Paget's book, for a couple of hours) probably count as ML to him.

The same goes for the rip each other's clothes off and go at it like a couple of animals type of sex. As long as it's mutual and I feel the emotional connection, that's ML, too. Again, it leaves me feeling very relaxed even if I don't climax (one of the most important things I got across to my husband was that sex or ML can feel very good to me without the big O). Sometimes I was getting so much pleasure out of watching and feeling his excitement that I didn't want to focus on having an O.

The times I felt that we were simply HS were times earlier in our marriage (but unfortunately for many years) when I felt distanced from him emotionally, when we did it because I thought that I should do it and that he was "scratching an itch". I would feel kind of empty emotionally after inside, and instead of feeling close to my husband, I felt even farther away from him emotionally. But, now after reading Michele's and Willard Harley's books, I'll never think that again.

So, I guess that for my husband and me, ML would encompass most loving physical affection whether it leads to or includes intercourse or not.

BTW, we just pulled out Paget's book a couple of weeks ago, and we're working through it again (this is one way we're using Michele's concept from Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting to "start with a beginner's mind" since we don't want to fall into a rut, and something that maybe didn't make the top 10 list a few years ago might make it there now).
Have fun (I'd have loved to have Paget's book when we first married)