she's telling me I have always been amazing and that I was unhappy. She couldn't figure out how to make me happy. In this she became sad and alone and that we weren't best for each other. She's happy that I am focusing on myself and finding happiness.
Very script-y. I heard almost the exact same stuff from my XW.
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Yesterday was a really good day. In hindsight, that convo with W two days ago was pretty unnecessary, but she dipped her toes into R talks and I was able to validate and just listen.
Doesn't sound like she wanted an R talk so much as a "here's my feeble attempt to explain why we're done" talk.
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Her feelings about how she can't make me happy are very much rooted in her own self-esteem and self-value.
Well, I think when my XW said that stuff to me I thought much the same as you, but looking back later I did realize that while I wasn't depressed in our M I was very, VERY bad at expressing happiness. I could be quite grumpy and I complained a lot, I always saw it as venting but in retrospect it made my XW think I was depressed and unhappy. I really wasn't, but I can certainly see why she thought I was. It's behavior I've done a 180 on for the most part. I vent in the car by myself now, LOL! I don't "dump" on others (especially family) like I used to.
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I'll keep posting as things progress and journal as I see fit, but I don't really anticipate anything happening for a long time.
Probably not in your M, but that doesn't mean you can't talk here about other aspects of your life
