Which resorted to her getting an attitude and causing me of cursing at S14 yesterday.
I assume something similar to what Ginger is saying above? FWIW, I completely agree with G. It sounds like you are trying to get S "on your side" and doing that by trying to damage his relationship with his mom. In my opinion, it is healthiest for him to have a good relationship with each parent, and your words are only damaging his view of his mom. I am ABSOLUTELY not suggesting that you need to hide everything or take blame for her actions or to even pretend that you agree with her choices. But I just dont see how the details of the R between you and W are his business. I would instead focus on the impact of D on your R with him. His relationship with his mom, is, frankly, not your business and not your story.
Originally Posted By: Tread
At that point I told her about herself and that everyone has noticed her behavior. And comes to me about it. Told her instead of lying on me, she needs to check her behavior because our sons knows she's cheating.
But....why are you talking to her about this at all. Its totally unrelated to anything. Im sure she isnt going to be convinced by your comments or change her behavior based on your opinion. So all you are doing is making her angry.
Im also curious...in your opinion, at what point isnt it cheating? Yes, you are still married at the moment, I suppose. At this point.....why do you even care who she is or isnt sleeping with?
Originally Posted By: Tread
W proceeds to play dumb like she has never cheated. I tell her that I will contact her later in regards to getting her mother's things out of my house. Or it will be placed on the curb or sent to Goodwill. W tells me not to touch it and I inform her that I am no longer obligated to be a storage unit for her family. W then brings up the fact that I am denying her access to her things in the house. And claims that she wasn't trying to clean the house out a few months ago.
After BD, I knew my ex was seeing OM in some capacity. While I was hoping for R, what I really wanted was to be 'right'. I wanted the acknowledgment that what she was doing was a dick move and that I deserved better. I wanted an apology.
You go on and on beating this drum of acknowledging that she is cheating or is a cheater or whatever. It feels like it's coming from a similar place. Like you want everyone to know that YOU are the victim and that SHE is the 'bad guy'. Im here to tell you that you may never get that from her. And somehow you need to figure out how to be OK with that.
Because this incident today spiraled into so many things that were TOTALLY unnecessary in the context of the conversation. It sounds like a lot of pent up things you want to get off of your chest that all came exploding out at once and does nothing to help you move forward.
YES. She is lying. No, I dont condone lying. But shes lying about questions to which the answers dont matter. So maybe it's better to stop having the conversations in the first place.
