I get what your saying. But S14 was engaging in the same behavior as the everyone in W family. Stick your head in the sand and ignore. Which is why they have generational dysfunction. S14 is well aware of his grandmother and great grandmother behavior. Figured it out by the time he was 8 years old. I am tired of of my W leaving this all up to me and shrugging it off.
I am sorry, but he is a kid, not an adult, and you gave him zero time to discuss this and in the middle of a parking lot. Sure, he needs to deal with it, but you wanted him to do it right then and there and he wasn't ready.
Was I angry? You damn right I am. As for the road home paved and smooth. At this point I don't give a damn. If she comes crawling back one day, then we'll see how I feel about it at that time. But at this point, a woman willing to drop her family for whatever penis is waving in her face at the time isn't worth fighting for. W mother did this type if stuff ober her own children, so she knows first hand how this story turns out.
Ok, so you are done with her. That's fine. It's OK to be done. Don't bet on her coming to crawl back and have to feel tell you how she feels like such a whore and beg for your forgiveness. It's over, then it's over. And if your son knows about his grandmother and great grandmother, no reason to bring it up again.
I work with dysfunctional families on a daily basis. And I refuse to be a part of one that exhibits the same destructive behavior. From this point I won't be so forward with S14. But he needed to know of the ramifications of this divorce and consequences of it. He was shrugging it off like it was going to be no big deal. And I needed hom to know how serious this was. W has S14 thinking that cheating isn't really that bad. That is my MIL line of thinking, which I won't allow to become my sons.
I hate to say this, but your behavior is destructive too if you keep it up. What in the world makes you think that S14 thinks that cheating isn't that bad? What makes you say that? because he isn't hating his mother and thinking she is a whore? His relationship with her is independent of your relationship with her. They are two separate entities. I am sure he knows how that it is wrong to cheat. He wasn't shrugging it off. he wanted to absorb and not discuss this in a parking lot. Maybe he needed some time to come up with some questions he needed answered.
Do you see an IC? I really think you would benefit for one to work through your anger. Anger is a necessary emotion, but you can't bleed it onto others, especially your son. You are the better the man here. But you can make yourself just as destructive if you aren't careful. I wish the best for you and your son.
