I will be attending the birthday party at my BIL house. I will steer clear of my BIL, but I really dont know how to respond to him if he talks to me about he and my W. I am annoyed that I am uncomfortable being around my BIL since he is the one misbehaving, so to speak.
WTF? Is that what you call an affair......"misbehaving"?
Have you and your sister discussed this? It just seems so inappropriate, to me, for your W to show up at your sister's house. That is blatant disrespect to you, your sister, and the entire family. There is no way I would let OW come into my house if she was having any type of an affair with my H. You should have thought more about protecting your sister and your family. IDK, maybe your sister don't stand up for herself anymore than you do.
To your knowledge, your W and BIL are still in an EA. So, let me tell you about EA's. They are much more than misbehaving. They are serious. I would be surprised if they have not been physical with each other, b/c they have carried this on for some time. And every time they see each other or contact each other in any way....it keeps all those affair emotions stirred up. Do you understand what I am saying? Your W cannot return to your sister's house for birthdays or holidays or anything else. Your family cannot pretend this is not going on. Their affair will never die if they continue seeing each other at these family events.
Going to your sister's home with your WW (who is in an affair with your BIL) will never get respect for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
