It's been a few weeks since I posted on my own thread. My health was a little better and then got worse again but I've been trying to avoid reaching out to my husband as much as possible.
My husband still shows no signs of wanting to talk about the future, however, last week apparently he called when I was sleeping and I didn't notice the next morning. Then when we left church there were two missed calls from him. I called back and he said he drove to our apartment to check on us because I didn't answer. I told him we were sleeping / at church. This is odd because he normally could not care less.
My husband's brother and his family are coming to a nearby city next week and I was going to take our daughter alone to see them since my husband didn't express interest in seeing them. Their daughters are our daughter's only cousins and they love each other so this is a good opportunity for them to see each other. Tonight my husband called and said we can all go together and stay over night next weekend. It seems practical so I said yes.
This is probably the worst period of my life to date. My health just isn't good and it's already been years since my husband started having affairs and stopped making an effort to work towards the marriage. Sometimes I feel that I'm wasting time by waiting to hear from him because there's very little incentive on his part to change the current situation. He's now free and living on his own while he still has us living nearby 'waiting' for him to figure out what he wants. Meanwhile my options for getting out and doing stuff are just limited because I have a toddler and I'm sick.
I'm still trying to find the energy and enthusiasm to raise our daughter alone and give her all that she needs, but I wonder how all of you handle the holidays? I have so many happy memories of the holidays with my husband. On one hand I don't want to spend them alone but on the other hand giving my husband the option of joining us at his convenience and then returning back to his free and happy life without us makes me feel worse.
Several other threads have raised the topic of spouses who leave turning into totally different people. I can relate because this is not the man I married. He was so great and was always helpful when I was sick and so supportive in everything. Now he's like a stranger. But I also see my husband acting like his own self around his friends and family, so it's just around me that he's a totally different person. I guess he simply doesn't love me anymore, so that's what makes it hard to be sure that the DB techniques here are appropriate. We have a child though and I'd give anything for her to live with both her parents.
I'd be happy for any feedback and will continue to respond to everyone else's posts as much as possible.
