As for young women with older men - I've thought about that with my ex and his 19 years younger bride. On the one hand - he's charming, as narcissists can be. And as a surfer, he was in great shape when she met him even though he was in his early fifties. And because he's a physician making over $300k, she gets a nice lifestyle, financial security and exotic vacations.
On the other - he's no longer invincible, had to stop surfing, had shoulder surgery, is losing his hair and going gray. And I still fear that CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) is in his future. I hope she'll care for him in his old age, but know that at my age, 61, I wouldn't want to be caring for an 80 year old husband.
As for the 39 year old? My experience with younger men was nice, but it's really only for today, no future in it. So that does leave us with a narrow path. Someone close to our age , not too much older or younger. But that has to include physiological age - some men my age are already too old for me.
Then add in other baggage - I wouldn't date a guy with grade school age kids, maybe teenagers. But my kids are grown and I still have enough parenting to do with them.
The guys I've dated either didn't have kids or they were grown.
All of this being said - the most important things, how you relate and values and interests - are more important than anything. And even the perfect match on paper could die of a heart attack tomorrow.
