I think a major message, which I've been getting from her for a while now in subtle ways, is that she is unable to make me happy. That there is something about her that won't make me happy. Now there are a couple of things I'd want differently in a future R, if it was with her, but she's mentioned that she never felt that she was a 'safe' person for me to talk to and share things with her.
And that she is lacking in a partner that I'd want. Now I have no way of proving to her that I love her for who she is, but we need to work on a few things.
Again, as you said, who knows that the future holds, but I have to just move forward with myself and see what's there for me.
I can't help her see her own value and worth for me and she needs to work on her depression and anger. She needs to understand that she doesn't have to 'create' happiness for me and that I have to do that myself. she can be one of the sources of my happiness but not the entirety of it. And that I can't be that for her either.
So, long journey ahead and I don't know if she's doing anything to help herself in this regard. I just know that I can't convince her of her worth or that I'd want her in my life and that I am willing to work with her. She's pretty much done as it stands and I have to just accept that again and move forward.
Her assessment about me being depressed was true and I am working on that and have come out of it, but she sees herself as part of that problem, which wasn't the case at all. Now I can't convince her of that so I just have to move along in my life and create my happiness. Part of me right now just wants to go out and be a player lol, but I know that ain't the solution to my problems.
