Your point is well taken, hairdog, but not entirely fair, at least in my case, imho. It's most definitely NOT a question of "...makes no difference to me...". Nor is it a passive-agressive act. I do my best in all cases to make sure she is not aware. Of course, I would LOVE it if she DID become aware, and lovingly help me out, but we all know that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I'm sure she's aware of my "shot-spot", but for all I know, she assumes it's from wet dreams.
My biggest problem with this is, on one hand, a lack of any real privacy most evenings - with 3 kids in the house, ranging in age from 12 to 20, it's not easy to find a few minutes alone behind a locked door without raising questions - and on the other hand, nightly routine. I have an eye condition which requires me to use an ointment at bedtime in both eyes. Most nights, W ends up in bed AFTER me. So if I were going to "retire to the drawing room", I'd either have to tie up the room before bedtime, or I'd have to wait until SHE's in bed and then do the deed. In either case, it would be to make a MUCH bigger deal out of it, and basically "rub her nose in it" (how's THAT for a visual?). My feeling is that what I'm doing is taking some of the pressure off (SOME), without being too obvious. Of course, we haven't discussed it, and we would NOT be able to without the risk of "upsetting the applecart", so for now, I'll leave things as they are...
