I think you answered your own question. You can’t comfort her. She doesn’t want your comfort. If you want to be 100% sure, you could just say: I’m sorry about your grandmother. If there’s anything I can do for you during this difficult time, please let me know. The same kind of thing you might say to a friendly neighbor.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
