Ok... martyr?? Far from there.. Ex-h uses this money to shove it in my face everytime he can.. like i do not contribute myself. Like i am a free loader on him.. This is not the case.. POWER over us.
The truth is all of his money has gone to the kids.. my money pays for our monthly bills and mortgage. I have no debt other than my mortgage wich is not much. He has given us, in extras, enough to pay off my house and i would have money left over.. he has contributed more than he had to. I am not and will not be dependant on him. I was dependant on him when i was a stay at home mom. In my opinion, it was appropriate as we were life partners and both agreed on it. We are not anymore and he forfilled his obligations in regards of the children.
His reason is NOT in his words. The real reason is because he is no longer attached to me.. what makes me say this? Simple.. he could very easily take on the full responsability of managing the kids expenses and banking. Why use MY personnal account? Why not put it in the kids account himself? Why have me do it? Ex- h runs away from responsabilities. He will give you EVERYTHING you need to get the job done but he will not do the job himself.. if you point it out to him, he will critisize you on your " poor performance"
And the worst part is: he sees his worth in his money. Yes Andrew, the 5 love languages. Lol my ex is never happy. He shops constantly. 3 table sets in 1 year.. 3 vehicules in 1 year.. 5 coffee tables in 1 year.. etc.. temprary good feelings.. This was accuring 9 years ago and i could not keep up with it anymore. Ex-h needs to appreciate what he has and cherish it.. he is not a handyman. He trades in. I' m a fixer. I am an handy woman. Too much i am told. My SIL says i need to leave room for a man to come in. Lol i would feel like i am using him.. i would prefere doing it together... Back to ex-h... he is a "shoppehalic" on credit .. he is max to the max. Why not pay his stuff?? Nope.. he pays a credit card, he' ll max it the next week.. i feel sorry for him in a way. His heart is empty without his money. His worth is on $$$$.
Which is why he looks down on everyone else. Nothing and no one is ever enough.. I know darn well that even if i purchased a 500 000 dollar home, it will not measure up to his standard.. it will be in the wrong neibourhood or shitty neighbour or plain " no way can I afford this because I AM so minuscule of a person "
Son got into a car crash last week- end..his first instinct was to call me. (ex-h is a cop.. this says alot) He did not know what to do. I guided him through the steps to take. We rushed over there eventho him and his girlfriend were ok. We spent the evening with them. Took them grocery shopping. D17 offered her own car to them until his get fixed. He did not take it. So i told him i would be back this week-end to run arons with them.. we planned it for this coming sunday. Son told ex-h about his accident after we left his place. Son told me: " he wasn' t mad but i think he will have more questions for you then for me"..
Ex- h did not contact me. As a matter of fact, no one heard from him until yesterday. He asked D17 and D14 if they wanted to go to North Bay with him today.. He bought another car( no, not for so ..lol ). The girls had school. And D17 is working this week- end. They both refused. I heard of it this afternoon. No mention of son. No concern over them all week. If i make the smallest mistake in the procedure, i or they will hear about it yet he won' t do sh*t!!
Ever wonder why we are the way we are toward our ex's?? I never thought i had it in me to be sooo resentful and i could be sooo degraded and be treated in such disregard.. i truely beleived these feelings would go away.. i do not care as much but i still do care..
