XW likes to complain to D when she won't carry the conversation or doesn't want to talk. They talk twice a day (on the way to school, and after dinner/before bed). I can't help but be present for the morning call since it's in the car, but I leave the room for the evening call. Sometimes D follows me, or stays in the living room instead of her bedroom, and I can hear them. Wednesday night (this is typical) D: "What are you doing, momma?" XW: "Nothing. What are you doing?" D: "Nothing." XW: "I don't believe that, you're doing SOMETHING!" then gets upset that D isn't talking to her. Argh.
Every third sentence out of XW's mouth is "I miss you, baby" which I've read you're not supposed to do, to make your child feel safe, and avoid making them feel sad or conflicted (so I stopped). Eventually D says (and she says this more and more) "I don't know what to talk about mommy, can I go?" XW acts hurt and says I guess. Tells D she loves her. D tells her she loves her. XW tells her again, D doesn't say it back the right way, XW gets upset, D gets upset, says I love you, bye, and hangs up. XW CALLS BACK and yells at her for it. After a couple of minutes of that, D has a decent conversation with her. I don't know what to think about that, or to do about that (if anything).
Im not sure, but it seems ludicrous to expect a 6 year old to carry on a conversation twice a day. Is that REALLY necessary? My 8 year old is pretty verbal, but even she wouldnt have much to talk to me about multiple times a day. Maybe it's time to cut that down unless theres some special circumstance?
Originally Posted By: EastTN
Reminded XW that she was picking up D on Tuesday at school next week
I've tried hard to minimize that, but I have NO idea how to have improved upon this situation, though, without making things worse. Pretty much anything I could have said or done just would have led to a fight in front of D, I think.
So why dont you stop 'reminding' XW of things? Dont you have a calendar or some tool? At minimum, I would start doing all of this by text or email.
