Advice on wife's actions

[CT1118]

LiamJ

Tough story man, real tough. I don't raise an eyebrow to much, but that part about lunging at you and biting through your hoodie brought both eyebrows up, jaw down, and a "WTF" through my mental dialog. Needless to say, I feel for you man. I agree with this entirely:

A new place is very good for your mental sanity, getting on with life, focusing on yourself, and practicing detachment. I can tell you just from my experience that moving out to my own place was a game changer. It was as if a huge emotional burden was lifted off my shoulders. I am slowly making this place my own and for my kids. Focus on that.

Once I got my own place, it changed my game too. A great point from Maika. I will entrust the same for you. I really think that overall, you are making some solid moves, either by instinct or from having read the two MW books, perhaps that C you mentioned? But on this...

To remove 17 years of love is gonna take a while...

Don't try to remove it my man. It will take a while no matter what, but let that run a natural course. IMO, trying to remove love is kind of an act of love on its own - what would be your metrics for that anyway? Trying not to think about her is thinking about her, trying not to look at her picture leads to putting pictures in a box for some hopeful day, trying to remove your love for her is trying not to remember you loved her - sounds like a zero sum game. Its my take, but let it ride as it will. It hurts all the time until it doesn't, and in the end you may decide either you still love her even if it all seems so unfortunate, or you lost some/all love for her and it all seems so unfortunate, but in the meantime...

...I’m going to take my time and find ‘me’ again.

F'k yeah man. Do that. Do that all the time, every day, all day.

Peace for you and your kids tonight my man.