Ok so there's been a few developments. He's met my brother and sister in law and spoken to my father in law on the phone. My bro and sis in law said they didn't know he would be there and are quite upset about it. Initially they said he seems a bit wierd. So after a couple of days with him they can't stand him, they said he is obnoxious rude and condescending and just keeps talking about the affair. My father in law apparently was very upset after speaking to him on the phone. He's coming over tomorrow to visit my w and has requested the om isn't there. But my in laws have told me he advised my w he will be there and she said nothing. My father in law said he'll spend Friday with her and Saturday with me, apparently my w was dumbfounded why he would go and see me, my in laws said erm because he's our family and we love him.
So I knew he was a manipulating womeniser and pretty much conned his way in to my wife's life, but I also accept that it takes two and she is as much to blame. But I feel I need to at least try and do something. It was sad to see how upset my in laws were about it all. I can't imagine how it's going to be seeing my mother and father in law at the weekend. Apparently they're in pieces over it. I'm no longer invested in the marriage now, im ready to begin moving forward but I can't imagine my kids being around this guy, my in laws think he's controlling her. This may or may not be the case, if so I certainly don't want him around my kids. So I've written her a letter, I just don't want to talk to her face to face right now. In it I've basically stated my opinion on her actions and how it will effect our kids and her own future.
It's frustrating because I know that if they show their disapproval it will just push her away from them when she needs them most. I need them to be in my kids lives on both sides of the fence to make sure all is well. This is really tough as I'm so ready to start letting go, but I can't help but feel if this guy is as bad as he seems I should at least be doing something but I'm worried it will affect my ability to really heal.
