LA, West, AP and Own. Thank you all so much for kind words. As much as I don't want to admit it but coming here really helped me these last couple of days. I feel so much better now after processing this latest spin, with your help off course!
LA, luckily H doesn't have facebook but a lot of his friends do and although he doesn't ever feature in any of their posts I just feel weird having an insight into their lives and H being connected to them. This friend is hard for me to figure out. She reached out to me last week and said it would be great to get together, always says she wants to see more of me and D but all I can describe it as is that she doesn't have a sensitivity button. She expects everyone to feel the same way as her, be on the same page and everything to be at her pace. It's sooo frustrating!
Hey Westo, you are so right. She is very quick to judge when she doesn't understand what I have and am going through. She actually said to me that it's been so long I shouldn't feel married anymore and laughed because I still wear my wedding ring. I felt so hurt and because she is very black and white with things I really couldn't explain why I continue to stand.
AP, thank you for the hug and right back at ya ((AP)). Your post is very criptic AP! What does it mean???!! Is it in a good or bad way?? I do feel much stronger than I have felt even last month. It is only when I look back to how I was at the beginning of 2017, I realise how much better I am now. Maybe that is what you were trying to say? I just need to stop putting myself into situations that send me back down that slippery slope again!
Hi Own. If is a difficult relationship for me. I am so torn with avoiding her or seeing her every now and again. The reason why is that H and I are godparent's to her two kids so I feel I need to keep the relationship going for them. Also we did have a lot if fun times going on holidays together. Spending Christmas, New Year and other holidays together. It's a lot of history. I think she is just one of those people who can take it or leave it with relationships and expects me to be the same and I'm not like her at all! D did warn me about seeing her and she was right. I should listen to her more!
I agree Own, I am still letting what he does or says affect my emotions. Not as much as it used to but still he does. I think I can handle small amounts of information but it was information overload from my friend so my coping mechanisms went into shutdown! I think in future I need to prep her to not discuss H!
Thanks so much everyone!! Love you all! X
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
