Thanks J. Yeh, he told me exactly what he said to the Principal and I validated his feelings and told him that there's lots of changes and it's okay to feel sad about them, but you should always be able to talk about it and feel that you can tell me anything and that I will always love him no matter what.
We then talked about the incident that happened at school and he wrote an apology letter this morning for the other kid that he wasn't nice to yesterday.
I told W what happened and just laid it out matter of fact, without blaming her for anything. I just told what happened, and that I had a chat with S and he's writing an apology letter. Thanks for the reminder, but yeh, I am not saying anything about W to the kids and making sure that whatever is happening with her and I, it doesn't spill over to the kids. She has to manage her relationship with them and I can't control that. I would only step in if I saw that her actions were harming the kids. I know there's a wide interpretation to that, because the separation is already harming the kids.
Dusty - Thanks for your message. I am sorry to hear about your S13. That's such a sensitive time in a kid's life and to have to deal with these issues is like moving Everest. I am sorry to hear that your W is just shirking her responsibilities and doesn't seem to care. You have to take on the added responsibilities and ensure that you're a lighthouse for the kids. I know it's hard to talk to kids at that age, but I hope you can try and see how you can be there for him even more now. That's what I am trying to do. Just be there and be present always and create a stable fun life for them.
In terms of my meet with W this weekend, I was thinking about just doing it over the phone. But, the more I thought about it, it looks weak and she would interpret that as me not being able to face her. So, I am just going to tell her that we move it to a day when we can go to a neutral place and talk and have someone watch the kids for a couple of hours. I realized that for me telling her face-to-face is a huge leap in terms of how I am learning to handle conflict and hard conversations, and I don't want to hide behind a phone for that. So, I'll see when we can have this chat. I've also figured out what I will talk to her about and that's it.
We have a parent-teacher conference tonight for both kids and I am eager to hear what's going on. I've been in communication with my S's teacher and she knows what's the deal.
