Thanks J. When it comes to how my kids are dealing with this and the $hitstorm because of the separation, I just want nothing to do with W anymore. The level of selfishness on her part is just destroying any piece of me that hopes for a recon. I just feel like it's better for me to just move on and make sure that my kids are okay.
I am not doing DB for a recon, but I can't ignore the impact it's having on my kids, which then erodes any level of respect that I have for W.
My chat with the Principal was really good. She was very understanding. She asked my son what he was feeling and he said "I am sad because my family is breaking up". When the Principal told me that, I just wanted to about die. The hurt that he's going through is killing me inside.
I spoke with him this evening and he told me the same. He said that W told him last night that her and I were breaking up. She said that in response to something he asked her about living in two separate homes.
Man, that kid is weathering so much. I just gave him so much love tonight and we talked about our feelings and that it's okay to express them. I told him that we're going to have Dad and kids 'RealTalk' every night where we can share our feelings that we experienced during the day. And then I gave him examples of being happy, tired, sad, annoyed, joyful etc. Boys tend to bottle stuff up from an early age and I just want to break that right now because he's in such a difficult position.
So, we're going to do RealTalk every night. This has given me even more motivation to be the bestest Dad that I can be for him. So, my personal goals are now not just about my self, but so that I am around long enough for my kids. Particularly my health goals - I am going to make sure that I don't die of a heart attack or something like that and that I am around for long enough for them. They need me to be there for them.
This has lit a fire under my a$$ and I am going to work the hell outta my goals. I feel no desire towards W at this point and I just want to move on. I am going to cancel our chat for this weekend because I just don't care to do anything outside co-parenting and she can just deal with her own issues like I have been dealing with mine.
