J9, I'd love to be the voice of reason. But I don't know how ready I am right now. Yes, there is hurt and resentment. The anger is fading, but there's still a little left. STBXW also mentioned hate - I don't hate her any more. But for a while I really did. Now I just want to be done with her.
You know what I do hate? This dark legal cloud hanging over everything. It prevents real conversations from happening between us. I'm just so guarded with everything I say. The funny thing is, we've never argued as much as we argue now. I wish we could just hit pause on the legal side and have a REAL ARGUMENT where we get to yell and scream as much as we want. Not sure what that would really achieve other than making me feel better.
I know we'll have to get to a place where we can be healthy for the sake of the kids, but I think that'll take a while to get to.
If you look at that text exchange, I see accusation or blame in just about every text she sent. Am I the only one seeing that? I'm serious (and I know I'm not blameless). I'm trapped in the Reality Distortion Zone right now.
Do you have any concrete examples from that text exchange of things I could've done better?
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
