Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 6

[Accuray]

Holding I think you're intellectually done but not emotionally done if that makes sense.

You *want* to be done, but your feelings haven't caught up. Rationally you know you're better off without her.

Getting into a separate living situation is going to help you a lot, it's going to be good for your self esteem. The sooner that can happen the better.

She still gets under your skin and you still react to her. When you're done and detached you won't give a cr@p what she says or doesn't say. It just won't impact you. My exW could scream and shout at me, make out with an OM in front of me to try to get a reaction and I would just feel pity for her but nothing else. When W does or says something and you feel nothing in response is when you're done, and that takes a lot of time.

Regarding her retirement account balance, the best advice I can give you is to regard your divorce from the perspective of being fair, but not vindictive or punishing. If you can leave something on the table that you *could* have gotten if you'd really fought for it, it will buy you a ton of goodwill in your ongoing co-parenting arrangement. Divorce will ideally be a settlement of things between you, not a forum for punishment, you'll only hurt yourselves with the arguing and make the lawyers rich.

Stay strong my friend!

Acc