These statements concern me, Holding. Your self esteem must be running next to zero for a long time. Why are you choosing to live in these conditions? Do you believe you can't do better?
This is the $hit I am challenging you on. I keep asking myself this when I read your posts. I think you deserve so much better! Your kids are learning life lessons from you. How do you want them to grow up? Strong and confident or weak and unworthy? What kind of role model do you want to be for them?
Holding, I think one of the first things that was ever relayed to us on this site was "the gift of time", I took that gift of time to correct all my wrongs(at least some of them) and secure the relationships with my children. I read the "lighthouse" poem or whatever it is weekly and especially when i'm feeling down about what my W and I are doing to our kids. I now have my two boys wanting to stay with me all the time because of my W's actions and that is without knowing of her cheating ways. My d11 and I are like two peas in a pod, I am closer to her than I have ever been.
I'm not trying to toot my horn here, I'm just saying use your time wisely and make sure your relationship with your boys is solid, your s14 is at a crucial age, my s13 is hurting more than he is showing, he's struggling in school, seems depressed all the time and stays away from his mom when she's in the house. Talk to your s14 even if he doesn't want to, he needs to know he is safe with you with what he wants to say, be there for him!
