Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 6

[Holding]

LH, man, why you keep busting my chops? You and East are right. My sons and I will have new adventures without STBXW.

I can definitely see me and S10 having a closer relationship than before. S14, I'm not so sure about. After our weekend hunting trip, he's giving me a lot of disrespect and I've had to put in place several consequences that he's not at all happy with. I'm honestly worried that this will hurt my R with him and possibly even hurt me in the D. But my IC tells me I have to parent as best I can and not worry about those things.

This morning S10 had a doctor's appointment about some hand pains he's been having. STBXW and I both went. We actually had to sit next to each other in the little examination room. AWKWARD.

Afterwards we had some confusion about what he was doing the rest of the day. There were some miscommunications (on my part) and assumptions (on hers). He unfortunately got put on the spot and ended up having to decide whose office he had to spend the rest of the day at. Neither STBXW or I were happy about this.

After I left with S10, we had this text conversation:

STBXW: Please discuss change of plans prior to discussing with S10 so he doesn't have to choose between us.

Me: I agree

STBXW: Then why, this is the second time it's happened.

(I'm not sure when the first time was.)

STBXW: I'm sorry but eventually you need to discuss co-parenting with me, regardless how much you hate me.

Me: That last statement is exactly why these discussions are so difficult.

STBXW: I'm being honest. I know you hate me, I see it in your eyes and in your actions. I have heard. I know more than you think I know.

(The last statement caught me off guard. It could be a bluff, but there's one person I was talking to who may have been feeding her info. I never gave him sensitive info and was aware it could've gotten back to her. She could also be bugging me or maybe even found this forum. I never responded to this.)

STBXW: We need to find common ground b/c he was already crying this morning about the D.

Me: Our common ground is that we'll continue to be parents to our kids.

STBXW: Yes, I know, so please don't make S10 a pawn in this.

Me: I have never used the kids as pawns and I never will.

STBXW: This morning should not have happened.

STBXW: I'm tired of the head games. Can we just communicate, or will we always be at each other's throats?

Me: You are free to contact me with any questions you have about the kids, and I'll respond to them. I always do.

STBXW: No you do not.

Me: I will not engage in arguments with you.

STBXW: Can we just get the mediation dates set so we can finish this? I'm not engaging in an argument, unless you think when I disagree it's an argument, which is ridiculous. And another reason for the failure in our marriage.

Me: I wish we could discuss things without you making accusations and blaming me.

STBXW: Look in the mirror, because you have made a false accusation against me and blame me

(I think this is referring to OM)

STBXW: And I'm just tired. We are both at fault equally.

(end of text exchange)

That felt relevant for some reason, not sure why though. There were probably some opportunities to validate in there. As always, feedback welcome.

I see you just responded Sandi. I'll respond to that next.