I am codependent on him so it is making this hard. I have detached emotionally in many ways.
You see Hope the statement above is the problem. He feels your codependency too. This makes him feel trapped and suffocated. So, how can you fix that? Give him space and then more space and then even more space.
Get together with your family, reconnect with old friends, join a gym, do volunteer work. Become mysterious when going out, don't tell him where you going and with who.
If you take the focus off of H *completely* he will notice. That will give him space to breathe, and to think. That's the only way these things turn around -- the ONLY way.
Lastly, I think you may be confused on what detachment is, I am including how I view detachment:
Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.
Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.
I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to infinity of choices. When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life.
