Depressed H- save my marriage

[hope222]

So my detaching seems to have just caused him to detach more.

I have been going on and living my life. And he has been doing the same. Most nights he comes home and doesn't want to engage with me. Sunday he came home from his parents and read from 4pm-9:30pm.

This is really hard to do when you are living together. It is just confusing because he is not making steps to separate anything.

My guess is his plan is to sell the house in the spring and then have a collaborative divorce.

We haven't separated our finances.

I am nervous to have any conversations about what he is thinking or the future. (it seems I am not supposed to do that based on the advice here but my therapist wants me to)

I am codependent on him so it is making this hard. I have detached emotionally in many ways.

It is hard because there has been no signs of him trying to pay more attention to me (there had been for a while) I think I need to talk to him less when we are at home. (I had been talking to him in hopes to open up the door for a conversation about our situation)