It sounds like these problems have been going on for a long time. There may be no quick fix, but if your wife hasn't actually filed for divorce or moved out then hopefully you're still in a good position to avoid divorce. It sounds like you started working on improving yourself. If you stopped drinking and are handling money better those are two important steps. Some of the other stuff though doesn't sound fair to you, such as your wife having had three affairs and then being angry at you. It seems for such a complicated situation it will require external help such as marriage counseling, a church pastor, or something or someone to make sure each of you are treating each other fairly. Sometimes when it's just the two of you bottled up inside your house it's almost impossible to get past the anger and resentment. My impression is that someone else needs to be involved as a referee if your wife would agree to that. I don't see why she wouldn't want to save the marriage if you're showing effort and if you have three children together. Hopefully you'll share more details about your situation so we can comment more!
