MStarr, I know exactly how you feel. My XMIL and I shared what I we both knew was an unusually loving and friendly relationship. When XH dropped the bomb she was as shattered as I, telling me stories of her own D from XH's father that nobody had ever heard before.
We remained close for about 12 months after BD, but over time she pulled away. She too had to mourn, and neither of us could really express to the other our deepest, truest feelings.
I'm pretty hopeful she doesn't judge me too harshly for what her son did, but as others say, who knows what the MLCr's family is told, and what they do to justify the actions of somebody they cannot help but love.
