That got me thinking again, what if there is no OM? What if having no one is preferable to having me? That thought hurt. Being dumped because someone better (in her eyes) came along is one thing. But being dumped because she just can't stand me any more and would prefer solitude, that hurts.
Holding,
There may be another possibility.
My XW can be a very harsh and difficult woman, but I know she's not completely heartless. Over the years she often expressed that she was happy and amazed that I'd put up with her. I actually didn't mind because I knew what she'd been through as a child and young adult. However, I've often wondered if she felt like she was too much of a burden for me and decided to take the opportunity to make an exit. I don't know and I will likely never know if there's any truth to that.
Anyway, I think it may be in the realm of possibility that your wife has some guilt over the way she treats you and the children. My XW very well knew that she often wasn't pleasant, but she didn't seem to have the ability to control her emotions. Part of your wife's issue may be that she doesn't want you to continue to be shackled by her behavior.
I know that's a shot in the dark, but the main point I'd like to make is that your wife's motives may not be entirely what you think they are. She may not even know exactly what's driving her.
There's a quote I heard recently, about someone who'd had an "awakening" (whatever that may be), "After my awakening, I found myself in the same prison cell (metaphorically speaking), but I realized that the lock was on the inside." Your wife may be trying to escape an imaginary prison cell, and it may not have much to do with you, but all she can think about right now is escaping.
