Trying as best I can with Last Resort Technique

[MStarr]

Thank you all for being here. I read the DB book - got it from the library. I am super careful about any kind of DB material not being accessible to H. Thanks for the warning though. I'm also doing coaching sessions which I love.

What do you think of this situation and how I should respond if at all: H was super aggressive regarding custody and was afraid I would "leverage kids against him". I never gave him any reason to believe that I would and have said repeatedly that I am willing to do up to 50/50 physical custody if he can work out logistics (he is living in a one bedroom cabin that is about 15 miles away from school district). After being aggressive and often nasty about custody arrangements (not legal, just negotiated between us), he will often tell me he is not coming on the negotiated days, or that he's going away for a few days, or that he "may" be able to take them to dinner on designated nights. For instance, he is supposed to pick them up from the bus every afternoon and take them to get a snack and have a walk. But like yesterday, I get an email a half hour before saying he's not going to make it. And that he may or may not make it to dinner with them tonight (I leave the house). I am afraid he is disappointing the boys, but I don't want to push him on anything. So I just say ok and am grateful I get that much more time with the kids. What do you guys think?