So sorry you're going through this, but you've come to the right place. My W walked away 18 months ago after nearly 18 years of marriage.
She's had numerous boyfriends, lots of partying, and a couple car wrecks, the most recent totaled her car and left her with a DWI hit and run charge. Now she wants to come home, but can't seem to get away from her poorly selected friends or controlling, PTSD boyfriend.
This was a woman who could do no wrong, a perfect wife and mother. MLC just changes people for the worst. It's going to take a long time to figure out what just happened. You'll never figure out why, so just decide now that you're going to stop asking the question.
As for the rest, do what everyone is saying. Take care of you and the kids. See a therapist. Get regular massages, go to the gym or start an enjoyable hobby. Surround yourself with good, wholesome friends, watch funny movies and distance yourself from the debris field of a tornado you used to call your husband.
It's the best you can do – it's also the only thing you can control.
{{big hugs}}
Me: 48 WW: 43 OM: 53 met 12/16 to 10/19 M: 18 T: 20 D20 S18 S9 BD 05/22/16 W asked for D 6/20/16 D final 1/9/17
