I don't think it's a temp check. It didn't sound like it. She said she isn't in a place where she can see being part of saving the marriage, and that she doesn't want to go to MC and drag it out because she doesn't have that commitment right now. I told her I can respect her decision and where she's coming from. But, she's got a lot of anger that she's not getting any help for.
I feel like this conversation is going to be her unloading on me and arguing with me.
I agree with you on talking about how I feel and what would need to change. I have taken accountability for my actions and I can do that again. Part of me still fears seeing all that anger from her, which in a weird way makes me angry because I am not all to blame.
But, I want to work on being not angry and just cool calm collected and straight to the point.
No proof of OM, but I will be bringing that up in terms of what I believe was an EA, which I believe did contribute greatly to the BD. I don't think she sees it as an EA.
But, what I know is going to happen is that we're going to sit down and she's going to ask me "what do you want to talk about"... and this is where I am tripping right now. I'd rather have her bring up whatever she wants to start with and then take it from there. But, if I have to start, then I need to think about where to start.
I know that this is going to be a minefield and that I could potentially really damage any chances I might have for a recon. At the same time, if I don't do it, W will see it as the same old me that doesn't share with her and avoids conflict.
I don't see what I have to lose right now. I was thinking about pitching whether we go to a MC who can help us navigate these conversations, but I don't have the money to drop right now for professional divorce management, which is what this would be. So, my best option is to have this conversation and keep DB in mind and do the best I can under the situation.
