First, I am so sorry that you are here, but we have a lot of good people here in all stages of the journey. I would suggest that you read as much as you can and post your thoughts to others when you feel more comfortable to do so.
To answer a couple of your questions:
Do the tactics I use matter whether it's MLC or WAS? You will use the same tactics in both cases. You will need to give him as much space as he requires. Listen and observe. Protect yourself financially because they all tend to spend money at some point while on their respective journey to find themselves. Do not talk about the OW as she really is nothing more than a band aid to his internal hurt at the moment.
Is there more of a chance of him coming back if it's MLC? I will be perfectly honest w/you...it's a 50/50 chance. There's no telling what he will do, think or say. He may opt to push for a divorce or he may be one of those individuals who likes to stay comfortable w/his spouse as Plan B if things don't work out in La La Land.
You, the LBS, may decide at a much later date that you've had enough of his nonsense and move forward w/a divorce or won't fight him on his filing for one. Just keep in mind, at the end of the day, you will be the one to determine if you want to try again...but that's a long, long way down the road. Keep in mind, this is not a sprint...but a marathon and it is not for the faint of heart.
For now, protect your assets, i.e., credit cards, bills, checking/saving accounts. You may decide to seek the advice of a lawyer. If you do so, do not tell your h want you've learned. Knowledge is power and at least you will know what you can and can't do and are entitled to.
One last thing, do not tell him about this forum. Do not share what you learn here. Do not tell him he's having a MLC. They don't like us to tell them what is wrong w/them. He thinks he's fine.
