Not sure how much is MLC

[MStarr]

Hi all, I am new here, so I hope I am doing this correctly.

My husband and I have been married 19 years. We have two teenage boys. Our marriage has always had it's troubles and it's been somewhat volatile. My husband and I are both very sensitive people and reactive. He announced he wanted a divorce on August 6th. Even though I had every reason to see it coming, I was stunned. I'm still feeling traumatized and feel like I have PTSD.

I am struggling to figure out how much of this is MLC. He has a lot of the characteristics: losing several people close to him recently, failing career, blames me for everything (monster mode), depression/rage/mania, says it's time for him to "live life to it's fullest", etc. I don't know if there was a girlfriend(s) or not. Seems like maybe there was in the beginning, but now not so much. Although I think he does go away and skanks around now.

Anyway, does it matter? Do the tactics I use matter whether it's MLC or WAS? Is there more of a chance of him coming back if it's MLC? Thank you all for being here, I feel so unmoored!