As I've said previously, you need to increase light, physical touches before trying to initiate a touch considered more intimate. Holding hands is a romantic gesture she may not welcome at the moment. However, she may tolerate you lightly touching her face or hair when you are talking. When you have your arm around her while sitting side by side, you could try moving your hand to the back of her neck.....or even just on her shoulder, and see if she tenses up. Don't do it during church, b/c that's taking advantage, IMHO. The point I want to make is that the non-sexual touches should continue, and slowly begin touches that are more personal. Like, putting your hand on the back of her neck is not sexual......but neither is it a touch you would give just any woman. If you can tell she isn't keen about any futher touching, then I suggest you put sex on the back burner.

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Another factor, and also contributing to my belief that "they never did", is her catholic faith, to which she had been very devoted. OTOH, her rebellion into waywardness was also based on this, as she has extensively discussed with the counselor: "I feel like my whole life I have always done what I was 'supposed' to do... that everyone thought I was a certain way, this 'good girl' when actually there is a lot of the 'bad girl' inside of me wanting to come out..."


I said something similar to your W's statement. I was raised in a very conservative, religious family. I never got into trouble, never sowed wild oats, etc. I lived with my parents until I married. I was the "good girl" in every sense. After marriage, I was the "proper wife". I don't think I ever felt as if there was a bad girl in me that wanted to come out. However, I remember getting a little resentful that I was expected to set the example for others.

Did she come away from the session with her counselor feeling any differently about herself......or was she given any tools? Has she ever talked with a Priest about it?

Of course, she may be falling back on the "bad girl", as her explanation for the inappropriate behavior. She may think that she's obviously bad, to have acted this way.

I hope you are right about her faith preventing her from engaging in a PA.

I am anxious to hear how she acts when she comes back from her overnight trip.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!