I love the posting that bttrfly posted to you. Just like the MLCer, we are going to be peeling back layer by layer of ourselves to finally get to the person we hope to be. We are a work in progress and it takes time to figure out who we are and where we need to go. We were so much a part of our spouses' lives, i.e., lovers, companions, mothers, etc. When MLC hit, we began to look for signs and those magical bullets that will make our worlds so much better. Our focus was put on our spouses/companions so much so, we forgot to take care of ourselves in mind, body and soul.
Now that much of the MLC storm has passed, you are just now trying to get your footing and you are still floating a bit. You are trying different things along the way. In time, you will find the perfect job for you to be content. You will find the perfect home to be content, but until this, you are right where you need to be...that is testing the waters in all areas of your life to figure out who you are and who you want to be. It's frustrating, but it all takes time, i.e., think of what you are doing as peeling an onion to the get to the core.
Please do not be so hard on yourself. We all have to go through this and each person will take as long or short as necessary.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
