WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

Will she initiate? A lot will probably depend upon her libido.

The answer to this, probably as far as anyone maybe even herself knows, is: "It's anybody's guess." Alot of moving parts to this one.

Apparently, and as I probably posted early on in my threads, my W's libido was significantly stronger than I ever knew, although there were clues I possibly should have picked up on. Either way, makes it all the more remarkable that she actually stuck around for as long as she did without venturing outside the marriage, AND that the A with OM never went fully physical, assuming it didn't... and I am about 95% certain it didn't. (Overheard a conversation fairly far along in the A where it was clear that they "had not" although they sure as heck were talking about it... suppose it could have happened sometime after but don't think they had any opportunity that i missed, and later conversations seemed to indicate still "no".)

Another factor, and also contributing to my belief that "they never did", is her catholic faith, to which she had been very devoted. OTOH, her rebellion into waywardness was also based on this, as she has extensively discussed with the counselor: "I feel like my whole life I have always done what I was 'supposed' to do... that everyone thought I was a certain way, this 'good girl' when actually there is a lot of the 'bad girl' inside of me wanting to come out..."

(Here's where all the male posters on the board can kick me when I'm down and make fun of me for neglecting my extremely attractive, 30-year-old-looking, apparently very horny 'bad girl' wife.)

Finally, another wildcard, she is now going through menopause... and may be fairly far along, at least to hear her tell it.

So, yeah. Who knows where she is libido-wise. And even if i had a clue right now, menopause might change the calculus wildly over a course of just a few months or even weeks....






And I gotta admit, here... alot of times I am at a bit of a loss in how to interact with this girl (my W). I can chat and flirt with her with little difficulty (something I was always fairly good/confident at) but as far as approaching her physically-- something I typically also had fairly good "radar" for knowing when the right time to move was-- I am at a loss with her. We're just in a really weird place in that regard. Definitely at a spot in the "new" relationship between us where I would normally be doing things like taking her hand, slipping my arm around her waist when walking or standing near each other, etc. etc., but... just not getting the "vibe" that that would be welcome right now, and certainly not that she is looking to be kissed. Then again, she has been okay with my putting my arm around her shoulders or on her chair back when we are sitting while out or at church or wherever. So maybe she is just waiting for me to make a strong move, like you said is possible but... maybe she is not, and I am certainly not getting any such vibe and, for the most part, she is not initiating any touch with me. It's just like... we're a little off kilter/normal. I told my counselor not too long ago that I almost feel like the "rules" with my W currently are pretty much completely different from what they would be with any other girl I were interested in.

Arrrrggh. Not used to being this flummoxed by a girl.

Well, except when the W and I first met and had our first go around. .. Where she pretty much flummoxed me that time, too. (We had a summer romance that lasted about 4 and a half months, then she got cold feet and broke it off... broke my heart. Then she "came back" to me about six months later... asked me to go Key West with her for a week, lol. The rest is history.)