Hi all, thanks so much for the advise and support, loves ya all xx
Andrew - ha ha, I really love hearing from you, you have a sense of humour that appeals to me greatly. Adventures come in all sorts of guises, I include no list shopping trips in that catagory, you never know what treasures you will find when your not looking .......
I will hunt down that book on ambergis tracking,I believe the west coast is the best place to look which happens to be the route I am taking,
Job - thanks you, i have said my bit, requested h sorts it and now it's in his court. I have heard of a solar fridge but little NZ is a bit behind in getting fancy technology. My alternative is to stay with a chillibin and visit paying campsites every couple of days to re freeze my ice blocks, means use of a laundry and hot shower too so not such bad idea, back to the planning.
Kms - thanks you for being my reasoning, it's always good to have someone ask the hard questions as I may not have considered them.
My savings are safe, i have not taken any holiday since I started work so by the time I leave I will have 7 weeks holiday pay owing to me, this equates to 9 weeks camping, eating, travel and a little spending money in each location. I intend to mostly walk and read and will be camping using my exsisting equipment. As for abroad travel I would love to do it but after 9 weeks I may have had enough being on the road,
At the rate of my saving I wont get to buy a house stage in my life time, it won't keep me in comfort in retirement. I am earning minimum wage so by the time I have paid rent, bills and food I don't have much left over, i have an emergency fund on the side of my savings so I haven't had to touch them and I try to pay something in each week. In short, at my age, with my meagre earning power, I don't have a financial future, it's living pay check to pay check, it's my reality, the state h left me to survive in,
Yes I have quit my job again, but this time it is for me and not for h, I feel my reasonings are solid; i am now completely alone, no children near me, no family and only a few friends who I hardly see now days as they have their own families and lives to keep them occupied. H is not coming back in to my life and I am in a really low paying job with not prospects of getting something better in the area I live. It makes sense to move nearer to my sons so I have them and possible future grandchildren in my life, s23 has expressed the wish to have me nearer to him, rent is lower in his area and he has a granny flat I can use until I find employment and start having an income again.
Right now, I'm unhappy, I have been unhappy for a few years, i don't know who I am, what I want and where I want to be, I have not given myself the courtesy of figuring these things out as I buried myself in a job to distract myself from what h did to me the second time, truth is it hurt me far more than the first time, the second was cold, harsh and needless and it broke me, completely broke me. I have not allowed myself to feel the full extent of what he did through fear of not being able to handle the emotional pain that will come with it, it's taken me a year, but I now feel I can face it without falling apart. I am more lucky than most here as I have complete freedom, I don't have any obligations where I am, no home, no family no co parenting with young children, I don't have a lifestyle I have to work in a high end job for to keep. I am taking a sabbatical from life for a few weeks because I can, it may not help me come to any conclusions but then again it might, I may find something, some place or someone interesting along the way that gives me a direction to go in, in the very least it will give me the opportunity to see some of the beautiful country I travelled half way around the world to live in and have not looked around yet despite having lived here for 10 years.
Thank you so much for caring, I really do get where you are coming from, I have had to work hard to have a bank balance that's not red, so I really appreciate you keeping me grounded when it comes to keeping it that way. Xx
Hmmmm I smell toast, so time to go and have some breakfast.
