Gordie: MLC W with a BF...negotiating our D #12

[Gordie]

Butterfly: I'm so sorry, Gordie. Look at it this way, at least you're getting all this over with at once. Small favors, I know.

G: she has the paperwork. I did all the work, she just needs to sign.

B: I think if I were faced with this I'd want to know as much as possible about the person who would be interacting with my children. The internet is a great tool. Use it to your advantage. Painful as it is personally, your primary responsibility is protecting the kids. He may be a harmless guy. Best to do some checking.

G: I have refused to meet him. I know his first name because of the little kids (at least she doesn’t make them call him dad or something) and what he looks like (awesome screen saver), so should I ask for his last name and details or actually meet him? I don’t want to for my own sanity but am willing to sacrifice that if it’s whats best for the kids.

B: I've never been in this situation. Thankfully my exh kept his activities focused in another state so son and I never had to deal with anyone else. We also had it written into our agreement that we would not introduce son to anyone unless it was a more than merely casual social relationship. Honestly I have no good advice to give here.

G: that clause is only a handshake agreement in my state and is moot because she has already done it.

B: I will tell you that kids are loyal. Kids love their parents. One of the gifts of childhood is that kids see right through the BS - so, I don't believe you're in any danger of being replaced by your children. Kid need and crave structure and consistency. Keep being their rock.

G: at my core, that is one of my fears...stbx already replaced me with OM1 and then OM2. Will the kids replace me in their hearts with OM2 too?

B: Again, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this right now on top of everything else. Hang in there. xoxoxo