Not to worry there's no shrine!! In fact its the opposite. Slowly W's imprint on our home is disappearing. My DB coach told me to expect to work 1 month for every year married then the results may/will start. I'm getting to 70% marker.
I'm confident my children know my beliefs and the see the hard work I'm doing on myself and on their behalf. Still I wonder if they think I'm a chump. W has given the indication that she has moved on.
We did some family therapy after W moved out. The Dr helped us set up some ground rules, then said we don't really need to come back unless there is a problem. I suppose I could ask the Dr if it's worth us coming back? Aside from some minor behavioral flare ups with S11. We are a happy home.
I'll continue to look for opportunities to engage them in conversation, without making it look like I'm drudging up issues that they don't want to hear about.
Currently, I'm most interested from finding out from others strategies and tactics that I could apply that would help me talk, engage my children and find out how they are doing and what they are feeling. I'm sure W is not doing that.
M:50 W:53 MR:20 D:21 S:17 S:11 BD-Sept 2015 Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015 Actually EA In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016 W moved out:May 22 2016 OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017