Gordie: MLC W with a BF...negotiating our D #12

[Gordie]

SBJ,

I am at a total loss for words too. I shake my head and wonder sometimes how did we get here? I have learned from all of you that this painful chapter is temporary and yes, there is some sort of peace that is out of my grasp now. I do think about how God is using this and think of the biblical Job. On the one hand, I have my health and children; on the other hand, he had his wife.

Brubeck,

Your story has helped me in my own journey as we both have long hours and young children in the mix. Like you, I am hurting for them as much as I am hurting for me. Due to the 2x4s here, I am going for max 50-50 time with kids and max flexibility at work. Who knows how it is all going to work, but I’m going to try my best for their sake. I do think in her own way she is trying to normalize everything that is going on. W is doing what she needs to do. Kids are fine. Everything is awesome! Why am I moving out? She wants the house. I don’t. Neither of us can afford it on our own. And re women? Yes, it’s nice to know I’m no dead.

AndrewP,

Non tax deductibility of alimony would be bad for both of us as it just means more money for the government and less for us. No idea if it will pass but if it does it only affects d signed starting in 2018. Yet another reason to get this signed.

Caliguy,

Wow, that is so helpful to hear. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I am at that point now. I can’t put up with the crazy any longer. I have protected my paternal rights by staying until we are d but once that is done, I will quickly exit. I really can’t take this any longer. It will be a near term struggle but I will figure it out. I always do. I loved what you said about losing yourself and agree. I’m slowly finding the new Gordie and he is different from the pre M one and that’s more than okay.

Butterfly,

I have no idea what w has told the little kids. It makes me sick to my stomach but I can’t control what she does. I can only control me. Thinking of my children being co parented with a step BF or stepfather is too much for me right now, so taking it one day at a time. Get the d signed. Move on the the next chapter. We are financially separated so she is only hurting herself now.