The first 4-6 months after last contact is a very crucial time. I mean, she just saw the name of OM's son in print.....and it seemed to have had a pretty strong affect. So, she's still fragile. Too fragile to be going on an overnight trip with her wild BFF. However.......I don't believe you can do one thing to stop her. In fact, it's best that you don't open your mouth about any of it. Don't mention BFF, MC, IC, MC homework, withdrawals, OM........nothing! Don't ask questions before or after the trip.
Sure, it will probably be the toughest thing you've ever had to do.....but she has already made up her mind. If you say ANYTHING, it will lead to something else.....either then or later. Actually, I'm really surprised she has gone this long, but that's not to say I trust her. She simply doesn't have enough time under her belt to feel comfortable about her facing this little overnight trip.
Your temptation is to control her. You can't. Then, you'll want to say something to impact her decisions. Don't even try......b/c she'll know what you're doing and she will resent it enough that it could backfire. To her, she's been a good girl, and has earned the right to go out. The best thing you can do is let go of all the things you want to say to her. Her "asking" if it was alright, is just a way of notifying you that she's going.
Yes, it is a big test.......for both of you. If she does backslide, you'll know it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
