This is just my opinion based on my readings and what you have posted.
Your wife had to take on the role as the leader in the home and she did not like it.
I know you think she likes to be in charge, but she does not. Most women want the man to take charge and be the leader in the family. She wants to know that he can protect and take care of her so she feels safe. When she feels safe she opens up to him emotionally and sexually.
When the man does not step up and take charge she becomes bitchy and unavailable emotionally and sexually, basically telling him to step up and be a man. After awhile she gives up and she has to become the leader and that changes the polarity of the relationship.
Now when a woman is acting like a man and her natural essence is feminine and a man is acting like a woman and his natural essence is masculine, there can be no sexual chemistry.
For example, you two are having a disagreement and you go and and lock yourself in the bedroom. Wouldn't you say she was acting more like the man and you the woman?
I have studied this for over two years and it is just my opinion. Maybe something to look into Google masculine and feminine energy .
