Biggy, your children are not your WW. Where as you don't explain or make grand announcements to your WW.......children in split homes often need explanations about what or why things have taken a turn in their lives. No sermons, however. If S11 does not know your intentions, then he might invite his mom over to share in a family activity. Then if he senses your frustration, he could turn it inward. But that's just MHO.
I am confused about what you are wanting here. You wanted to know if you should talk to the kids about not having Saturday morning breakfast with mom at the house. Then you wanted to know how they might feel toward her being there (and I thought you meant being there for family activities....and I responded to it). Then you clarified to how they would feel about the two of you getting back together.
After I suggested that the only way you would really know is to actually talk with you children and give them an opportunity to express their personal feelings......you responded by saying there would be no discussions about the change, and no grand announcements.
So, I am going to try to bow out of any further comments on this particular subject. I'm not upset or anything, but I feel we aren't connecting and I don't want you to misunderstand anything else I may say about it. As for as "experience", I will tell you that I have known of cases where children grew up not knowing the truth and had to assume something else. All b\c their parents thought the kids "just knew" and nobody discussed it.
Anyway, I hope you will make the right decision for yourself and the kids. ((Hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
