25yearsmlc, I am not concerned with the names my W calls me. I was just responding to the ass comment from sandi2. why are you not concerned with how your w speaks to you? For sandi2, details on the couch thing...W asked this time instead of telling me. She almost immediately asked when I was going to be going to bed. I told her 15 minutes and continued hanging out with my son. I moved as I said I would within the 15 minutes. Then, my W sat where I had been sitting and surfed facebook on her phone instead of laying down. After 10 minutes of her surfing FB, I sat back down on that couch. Nearly immediately, my W asked me to move so she could lay down. I got up and tucked our son in.
minutia, squid ink, whatever. You are missing the BIG point we are making.
it's like saying she didn't serve you the cereal you wanted but then she did
oh, and then she threw it out the window saying she hates you b/c she wanted eggs. She disrespects you in your home to your face AND involving the kids.
THIS IS THE PROBLEM^^^^^^^^
not facts in a small scenario in which she probably has a point....but I'm "stuck" on ho bad things are between you that you scavenge for the scraps you can get.
Please don't.
Not sure what else to say.
Please...you must teach your kids to set limits on how they are treated and that often means LEAVING bad treatment.
See the lawyer about the kids. Sue her for divorce, get a TRO on HER, check your rights not just about money, etc.
Not just "what if she leaves..." Many MANY questions...
are you getting IC?? Please do. No shame in it. It'll help your kids!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I will meet with a lawyer for more information. Also planning on a call to a DB counselor...I had several sessions with them early in this ordeal. Good advice from them, but so far definitely more conservative than what I hear on these boards.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
BTW, book Love Must be Tough is spot on. Author advises to create a huge crisis early on to disrupt spouses actions. I do wish I had acted more abruptly sooner. As time passes, the impacts of actions decrease. Case in point is a huge reaction upon first finding out about my eifes affair. A huge teaction from me would have shaken her back to reality.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Kaizen, there are a couple factors here. First one is my W is very polarized on bedtimes. She will stay up until 2 am one night and get up at 5 am, while other nights she will want to go to bed...and kick everyone out of the living room at 8 pm and sleep until 8 am. I never know what night it is for her. I keep a fairly consistent schedule with bed times and wake times.
I was relaxing with my son(11) in the room. This was the first time my W has told my son that she sleeps on the couch on purpose...she has a long history of falling asleep on the couch.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
So, recently, my W came home with a cage and two rats that my son(11) has been asking for. I was a little concerned since he already has 2 snakes and a beta fish. Although less than enthused, I can live with another pet in the house.
Today, I was looking over the bills and saw that the rat supplies were very expensive and from an exotic pet store. Sure enough, the pet store is owned by the man my W had a physical affair with.
It turns out my W has been buying all the pet supplies from this shop, dropping in to see this D-bag with our kids every week after school.
So, my question is should I demand my W not visit his shop, not take the kids there, or...? I am guessing the best answer is to demand she not take our kids there anymore...I cannot force her to stop going.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Maybe I don't don't understand the full extent of your situation. I thought the issue was with the BIL, not the BIL and some other guy.
I have difficulty mustering the finesse and cordial wording that other people use when posting, but I'll try my best. Your marriage is a sham. You should kick your wife to the curb and move on.
Kaizen, there are a couple factors here. First one is my W is very polarized on bedtimes. She will stay up until 2 am one night and get up at 5 am, while other nights she will want to go to bed...and kick everyone out of the living room at 8 pm and sleep until 8 am. I never know what night it is for her. I keep a fairly consistent schedule with bed times and wake times.
I was relaxing with my son(11) in the room. This was the first time my W has told my son that she sleeps on the couch on purpose...she has a long history of falling asleep on the couch.
Come on.
You said this was "usual Friday night drama". Youve posted here several times that W goes to bed early on Fridays and there is an argument about the quietness around her.
To me, being in that room after dinner on Friday night is just looking to stir up trouble.
So, my question is should I demand my W not visit his shop, not take the kids there, or...?
Look man you know you can't demand her to do anything. Even when the kids are involved unless there is a court order for her not to take them to the pet store.
How is living like you are now better then living with your children in peace 50% of the time and living alone in peace 50% of the time?
IMO if you think she is going to wake up one day while you are still living together and say "wow what I was thinking I have everything I ever wanted in Tate and my family right along" you are fooling yourself.
Look man I know it is scary thinking about splitting time with your kids and starting all over again. But it will be so much better then what your'e dealing with now. Who knows maybe she wakes up someday down the road?
Are you in IC? If not IMO you should be to find out why you are willing to let your wife treat you like a doormat.
Kick W to the curb, because she ain't going to do a thing you tell her. And explain to her why this is the straw that finally broke the camels back. And cut her access to the funds. You bankrolling OM business, while he is screwing your W.
