Sandi2:

Thanks for you post. For the record, I'm not going to discuss my "change" with the kids. I'm simply going to implement it. No family meals, etc. It will be easier, no grand announcement, no risk of back tracking if something comes up etc. I also don't want to drag out the whole OM thing. They know how I feel, they know the values I have, etc. I also don't want to fuel the "I'm punishing her fire"

I won't be filing despite her actions. It does not sit well with me. As JimKao says - Her circus, her monkeys.

Yes, any reconciliation would take lots of therapy for everyone.

Again, I would like to know what my kids think of their mom. Partially for the self righteous self but mostly for fact how they feel and what the costs are. For all I know, they blame me as W does.

I've gotten 0 answers when I asked my sons about how they feel. Lots of shoulder shrugging and it's OK. I do feel a little needy when I ask, so it's better not to ask.

Again, if they don't want her back - I'd like to find out.

Any ideas on how to ask the question without it being out of left field? We don't talk about her at all.


M:50
W:53
MR:20
D:21
S:17
S:11
BD-Sept 2015
Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015
Actually EA
In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016
W moved out:May 22 2016
OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017