We both took sides out of loyalty for our wives. Maintaining peace in the home with wives who in our belief takes priority over even family. W was mad at the fact that I even wanted to work it. Even when I was clearly on her side. But I own up to that one. Should have just been a man and told W that I would fix things regardless if it upset her.
Noooooo, I think you were both scared of your wives. I can probably bet on that one. You had nothing to workout between your Wife and SIL and neither did your brother. That was for them. To not to talk to your own blood to keep peace in the house might be something you would want to do differently one day. And no, you didn't need to fix things. The only thing you needed to fix was the R between you and your bro.
When I was pregnant, my crazy ex SIL went NUTS on me. Mean, vicious, lied about a whole bunch of stuff and was downright cruel. I expected my ex to stand up for me, because he knew the stuff she said was unfounded and downright wrong and he knows she is nuts. I refused to talk to her, but I didn't stop him from having an R with her. As long as he stood up for me. When I had the baby, she wanted to reach out when she found out about the early delivery, baby in the NICU. ect. I wsn't ready. I approached her when I was ready. But he still spoke to his sister. (and guess, what, they haven't spoke in years over something with their mother. I was way out of the picture when that happened).
it's something to definitely think about for the future
As for the blame in the R, I have mentioned my wrongs. But the issue brought up was the issues between my W and my parents. So I explained. To be honest, I am not sure how I could have handled things differently. W feels that she can day and do things with zero consequences. And my family in general have no problem checking disrespect. They all loved each other at first. But as time went along certain disagreements came about.
Trust me, I have looked inward. But at the end of the day, I am not taking the blame for W actions. I have no intent on blocking them out. But the R with the in laws won't be the same. No more saving their a** like before. There are just certain people who aren't good for you. And need to just keep at a certain distance. Knew they were users, but I seriously considered them to be family.
nope, don't take blame for your wife's actions. Not telling you to do that. But look at your reactions to situations. Evaluate them very closely.
