Alright. Here is another update. Things are moving steadily. Through my IC I have recognized that a lot of what drives me is the feeling of not being good enough. It has enabled me to achieve beyond expectations and there is something about someone doubting me that makes me go harder.
It has also led me to question other things such as when W has a conversation with a friend who makes her laugh that I easily feel left out or that I feel she might think I am not worthy to share the good news with.
But we are both working hard. We are using the tools from counseling. It's not where I want them to be. But W openly discusses a future that involves me and she is recognizing when she seems to take me for granted or when I do something. I am trying to do the same thing.
She has not said a positive word about OM and sees him now fully as being manipulative and unreliable. I can see how she felt lonely and that I played a role in it but she also recognizes I did do a lot for her when her health was going downhill. But me moving away from the rescuer role has empowered her a lot. It is not as ideal and perfect as what I just wrote but for the most part it has that upward trend.
I don't really have much else to say which if you scroll through my posts is unusual. But the fights are over small things (they usually were) but she isn't saying "this isn't going to work" or "this is why I am going to divorce you" or "you will never change". Our therapist has through individual sessions taught us that we want the same things but we need very different things. I am learning to take a back seat and not try to fix her problems.
